• Lova

Let’s have a shit day together!

Today, I’ve had a really rough day. Rough as in mentally rough, I’ve been low and sad all day long. Even cried (which I rarely do except when watching Lion King or stumbling on a threshold). The day started with me waking up in the morning,with nightmares of my husband leaving me still lingering, and the feeling of panic rising in my chest as I was chased in my dream by angry people (I did run extreeeemely fast though so got away…phewww!).

At 4 am I was wide-awake, like deer-in-headlights awake, and could not get back to sleep. Staring out into the darkness, the air hot and sticky, the thoughts were fighting for my attention. One tiny negative thought was accompanied by another, they seemed to like each other, and so more bad thoughts join in and they grew into this monster of irritation, more depressive thoughts came around and I could almost see the dark clouds forming over my head as I fell deeper and deeper into a pit hole of negativity. Arrrgh! Do you know what I mean? Some days are just…sad and grey… and annoying.

Even if I didn’t (really) have anything to complain about, I was just feeling as someone had ripped my heart out, stomped on it and then threw all possible crap at me. That I was a crap mother, an awful friend, a rubbish wife and horrible person. It made me low, weak and teary for the rest of the day.  And I thought, I will just let this day pass, I give up on this day. Let me be alone, world.

And, yes, the day continued with me feeling like a wet dish cloth but something magical happened. Friends and family near and far sent little messages of encouragement and love. We talked about good and bad stuff, they made me laugh,made me forget my small problems, made me feel loved and it also reminded me of how lucky and grateful I really am. Even if all the clouds around my head didn’t disperse, they went from dark grey to light grey,some were even white, and my chest felt softer, my heart warm and I smiled. Such small thing as receiving a comforting or funny message, made me happier. So, if you are feeling like me today, please just quickly send a text to some friends, or even better, just pick up the phone and say “hi my friend” and suddenly, automatically things will feel a lot better. If you are feeling lonely, and don’t want to get in touch with friends right now or just not worry your family, then go ahead and send me or Sofi here on Santosha a message. Because we are here for you too, even if we only can change the shade of your clouds from dark to light, it is better than hanging around in that dark depressive pit. No bad day is made out of problems “too small” – it is completely fine to feel low. Let’s have a shit day together! We promise to reply.

And if you are feeling extra cheery today – please, share, here or on Instagram, your best comforting-spreading-love-caringtips. We will make a blog post about this next month, so keep it coming! For now, take care and enjoy your day. Or… just not…just get into bed, get cosy, and forget about this shitty day .


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